I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you had me at cake vodka
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize