Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
