We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Four minutes until I can fart!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize