Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
