The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
