you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
