Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can I color on your dick again?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
