I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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