All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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