Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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