Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
