That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
