Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
