she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
