he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
