Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
