I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize