im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
