MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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