what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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