I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize