Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
