you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize