at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sext me about skeletons
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
