All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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