She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
