on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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