You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
