i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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