No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
And then he peed in my hair
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