Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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