Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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