Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
