one two three fourrrrnication!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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