The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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