I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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