I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
