What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She's the barista slut.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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