What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
