i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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