I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
