Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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