real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
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