I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
