my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
