His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
