oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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