i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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