this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
