oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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