After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
