The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
