Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Holy sore nipples Batman
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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