Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
