then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
