No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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