I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize