hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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