Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
