Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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