I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize