This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
