I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
