at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
