I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
