I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Even my vagina gasped.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
