I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
