You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
