using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
